Category Archives: Absolute Nonsense

Blowing this whole cover-up wide open

Admit it: The Globe is just the only publication with the balls to say what everyone knew all along.  

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment

Jazz for Other Moods and Activities

Some time ago, a series of jazz compilations came out. They were clearly aimed at women who wanted to relax. Their titles told the whole story: “Jazz for a Rainy Afternoon” “Jazz for a Lazy Day” “Jazz for When You’re … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment

Why the Internet Suddenly Became Interested in My Ramblings on Paraguay

This past Sunday night, I posted The Consensus Bureau’s top 101 tweets of 2012. On Monday, I checked the traffic, to see how many people had looked at the post. The traffic had spiked to 222 views! A bit more … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense, Odd Books | Leave a comment

Twit and Twisdom of Twenty-Twelve

April 2013 is almost done, but we’ve just now getting around to rounding up our 101 best tweets from 2012. **** 1. Plato: music undermines the state. Nietzsche: life without music is a mistake. The CB: life without music undermining … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense, Tales of Twitter | 3 Comments

You’ve come a long way — in drag

My paternal grandmother was a heavy smoker all her life. One of the brands she smoked was Virginia Slims, whose slogan then was “You’ve come a long way, baby.” I remember this well, because when I was a little kid, … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense, Odd Books | Leave a comment

Soft-Rock Sociolinguistics

The other day while I was in the grocery store, I heard the old Eighties song “How Will I Know” by Whitney Houston. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit that I was already quite familiar with the song… Anyway, I’ve always been … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment

Conflicting Messages

For every song, there is an equal but opposite song. Nowhere is this more obvious than with a pair of chick-rock singles from the Eighties. Joan Jett tells us that she loves rock ‘n’ roll, and orders us to put … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment

Motivation

Our parents always wanted us to be in a rock band. They sent us to rock college, where we got good grades; and, after four years, we all landed steady jobs at the nation’s top rock firms. The legions of … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment

The Consensus Bureau’s Investment Strategy

For over 300 years, The Consensus Bureau’s Portfolio Advisory Service has produced solid results in wealth dispersal through our signature Asset Destruction Funds (ADFs). Here are the top three questions we hear most often: 1. What’s your track record? We … Continue reading

Posted in Absolute Nonsense | Leave a comment