Astounding Quantities

By law (I presume), consumer packaging has to give us accurate measurements of what’s contained inside. But normally they do so in terms of weight, not actual quantity. And not so breathlessly, either, as the examples below.

First off: if you’re going to specify on your packaging a certain quantity of slices, and the quantity seems… I don’t know, a little meager… then you should definitely mention how BIG those slices are.

 

The same rule holds true for cookies.

 

 

Contrast the foregoing with the example below, where the quantity is by itself so impressive, that no added description of size is needed.

(Sidebar: Did you know that snack-food companies do statistical sampling of their wares to make sure that the containers really do contain as much as their packaging claims, so no one can sue them, this being America, Land of the Litigious? Doing this by weighing the containers sure seems a heck of a lot easier than trying to count the frickin’ chips. Maybe they’re just hoping they don’t get sued by a zealous amateur chip-counter. Or maybe they make sure to crumple and crush the bags a lot before shipping them: “There, now there’s gotta be 300 chips in there…”)

And finally, the crown jewel in our collection of astonishing quantities is the following:

FOLKS! WOULD YOU BELIEVE! STEP RIGHT UP, PLENTY OF ROOM TO SEE! WHAT FORMERLY WAS A PACKAGE OF EIGHT BATTERIES HAS NOW, BY NO EXTERNAL MEANS, HELP, OR AGENCY WHATSOEVER, BECOME A PACKAGE OF TEN BATTERIES! YES, FOLKS, AND HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY FOR A PACKAGE OF BATTERIES THAT CAN INCREASE ITSELF BY 25%? DO I HEAR FIVE DOLLARS, FIVE DOLLARS, YES? DO I HEAR SEVEN DOLLARS…?

More Wisdom of the Fridge here.

[An astounding quantity of free, HUGE music is available here.]

This entry was posted in Wisdom of the Fridge. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *